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I dive headfirst into unhappiness upon arousal from slumber. Unintentionally grinding myself into ash before the day that has begun. My thought process attacks my inner being and I of course falter at the mercy of the boulders.  I try to keep balance in spit of these things, but I am just a mere child.  When things get difficult, I lose my sense of self, and I lose everything around me.  Anxiety knocks at my door.  I answer because I know it leads to more problems.  I do what I know.  I know what I do.

But I will never know what I want.